This morning DChino was able to schedule an exclusive interview with the Nationals Mascot Screech. The 6'1" flamboyant bird instantly felt comfortable with a microphone in his face, so comfortable that he decided to reveal a few new facts.
DChino: How old are you Screech
Screech: 4
DChino: Thats great, do you like baseball
Screech: Yeah, its nice
DC: Nice? Aren't you supposed to live for the game? Don't you want the Nationals to do well?
S: I've just been really into other things lately, like the Bravo Channel, PinkBerry, and the elliptical machine at Results Gym on U street
DC: Well I have noticed you have lost some major weight has that been something you have been working hard at accomplishing?
S: I was born really fat in my hips, face, and, well, everywhere. Ever since 2006 when Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt took advantage of me in the RFK parking lot - calling me a "piggy" - I've known that It was time for a change.
DC: Thats horrible, did you talk with the Lerner family about this situation with the Presidents? Im sure they would punish them for doing this to you.
S: No, the way I see it, it was a blessing in disguise. If I hadnt been defiled by Ted and Abe I doubt I would be where I am today. Now Im in shape and I have met the love of my life.
DC: Good for you Screech and thanks for the interview with DChino.blogspot.com
S: The pleasure is all mine.
For more on this gay bird please read more from our boy Steinberg
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