RODMAN! OH YEAH OH YEAH..... oh no!
Friday, February 27, 2009
DCFOD
DChino's field reporters were on the scene at last nights Washington Capitals game. They went into the trenches of Laconia (verizon center) to bring back this Darkon Caps Fan of the Day picture. God have mercy on his soul, he was actually devoured by a dragon two minutes after the shot.
Hofstra Coaching Staff Keeps Long Island Tanning Salons in Business
Please take note of the shimmering glow the Hofstra Men's Lacrosse team coaching staff has retained during the cold blistery winter.
I guess real men bronze. Long Island is so different.
Forget AROD This Yankee Is Sharing His Juice
Word is that Derek Jetter is dating a 22 year old college senior. Can you call the Fashion Institute of Technology a college? She's got it going on though.
AHH! CREEPY OLD DUDES!
Old dudes love to skeez on young chicks. They usually like to hang out in corners or smell hair. Check out the top 16 creepy old guy photos
Haynesworth Banter
pretty good quote from profootballtalk.com
"And maybe he won’t lose his cool and step on a guy’s unhelmeted head.
And maybe he won’t leave practice and come back with a pipe. (Not a pipe for smoking crack, but a pipe for cracking skulls.)
And maybe he’ll learn how to obey all posted speed limits and not cause accidents that require 25-year-old kids to get hip replacements.
And maybe he’ll learn how to fly, without a plane.
And maybe the Redskins finally will learn that this isn’t the way to build a championship football team."
Haynesworth's getting paid!
CHEDDARATO AND DANNYBOY STRIKE AGAIN
Early this morning, Redskins owner Dan Snyder and vice-president of football operations Vinny Cerrato acted on a plan likely concocted while fellating one another on the racquetball courts in Ashburn, Virginia - signing DeAngello Hall and Albert Haynesworth to a grand total of $155 million. Hall, who played well for the Redskins in the second half of last season, signed a 6 year - $54 million contract ($22 million guaranteed) after being cut mid season by the Oakland Raiders and being previously cut by the Atlanta Falcons for attitude problems.
Haynesworth, was inked to a 7 year deal worth as much as $115 million ($41 million in guarantees). Haynesworth is "Famous at first for his juvenile on-field behavior, Haynesworth established himself as a force to be reckoned with last season with his best production yet. The downside to drafting him is the fact that he’s averaged just 12 games per season since his rookie year" (ESPN.com). Both players improve the overall talent of the defense, but 13 years and $115 million ($63 million in guaranteed money) for these two? Way to go idiots.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
ERIN ANDREWS SEX TAPE?
Someone is claiming that they boned Erin Andrews and filmed it. Erin doesn't remember this happening, and is out suing websites that are saying it exists.
You would never see Lindsay Czerniack denying any alleged sex tapes, cause they probably wouldn't be alleged. HOOOO
A RED JESUS IMAX? MADELINE ALBRIGHT A RED ROCKER? A SILENT BUT DEADLY ELEVATOR RIDE W/ BIG TED?
Our boy Dan Steinberg describes how Ovie might be the star of an new IMAX film, how Madeline Albright is a Caps Fan, what the EFF Twitter is, and a silent but deadly elevator ride with Ted Leonsis.
DCFOD
DChino's Darkon Caps Fan of the Day -
DChino has decided to expose its loyal readers to the idiots who frequent the Capitals games. DChino's mission here is to have its loyal readers take over the Capitals games forcing the current Chedder Dongs to go back to what they do best WarCraft and Darkon.
DChino has decided to expose its loyal readers to the idiots who frequent the Capitals games. DChino's mission here is to have its loyal readers take over the Capitals games forcing the current Chedder Dongs to go back to what they do best WarCraft and Darkon.
- Here we have Archduke Tarim Rex, Knight Baronet (on right of screen, guy on left is a simple surf of Laconia)
Darkon Bar Crawl in Laconia (Baltimore)
Darkons will be hitting the streets of Baltimore approximately 1 month before Darkon season commences. -
"I AM SNUGGLES THE WIZARD, AND I, SNUGGLES THE WIZARD, COMMAND YOU TO READ THE FOLLOWING:
This Saturday, the folks at Captain Larry's, (601 E. Fort Ave.) are organizing a Snuggies Pub Crawl, which runs from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. and hits about a dozen South Baltimore bars." - Snuggles the Wizard
Beware of foam swords and dudes with goatees and bald heads.
Read more here
Ping Pong Dance OFF
Ping Pong player Adam Bobrow is a little exicted about cutting his opponants lead to 9!. (Via SportsByBrooks)
TOP 10 THINGS WHITE PEOPLE LOVE
stuffwhitepeoplelike.com has put together a list of all the things white people enjoy - the top ten are below. (See the full list here)
* #10 Wes Anderson Movies
* #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
* #8 Barack Obama
* #7 Diversity
* #6 Organic Food
* #5 Farmer’s Markets
* #4 Assists
* #3 Film Festivals
* #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
* #1 Coffee
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Dickinson Needs a Zoloft
I would love to know the idiot who falls for this recruiting method? This video makes this school look like a depressing death trap.
They probably should have let DChino make the film.
Count Andrick VanDahl Presents EFF My Life quotes
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living.
Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.
FML
Sad Story
A sad and unfortunate story about a friend of Dchino. A great husband, father, son, brother, and friend. God bless you.
FREE QUIZNOS
DJ Detlef just found out that Quiznos, although a distant second to Subway, is giving away 1 Million free subs. Check it out!
The Red Jesus Almost Dies
The Red Jesus almost decapitates himself along with the Rockstar as the barrel down the Verizon center underground area. One would never see Crosby try this dare devil move, and thats why Ovie is the undisputed #1.
Mustache March - 2 Top 5 lists
DJ Detlef and The Nose have weighed in on Mustache March w/ there own top 5 list of famous mustaches. The criteria has nothing to do with style, size, length, color, it only has to do with how well the facial hair completes the face.
- DJ DETLEF THE NOSE
- 5. The Rollie Fingers 5. The Salvador Dali
- 4. The Goulet 4. The Frida Kahlo
- 3. The Tom Selleck 3. The John Walters
- 2. Civil War Beardstash 2. The Sam Elliott
- 1. The Portable Stash 1. The Frederick Maryland
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Idiot Standing Up Courtside
Who is that getting his face covered by the ESPN L'ville score tracker? COULD IT BE!?
Carl Is The EFFING Man!
Carl Joseph was one of ten children in a single parent home who played varsity high school football in the ’70s and was also standout in track, amongst other sports - and now he was been elected to the Florida High School Athletic Association Hall of Fame . He was even asked to tryout for the football team at Pitt. Not very newsworthy I guess, until you take in to consideration that Carl only has one leg.
THE NEXT OVERPAID IDIOT REDSKIN
Some Darkon named Lance Zierlein who blogs for the Houston Chronicle thinks Albert Haynesworth is gonna be a Skin. Obviously, DChino's personal Potomac friend Dr Dan Snyder would make a play for Haynesworth. This would also give them the upgrade on the defensive linem they need to allow Chedder Dong Cerrato to draft a wide receiver in the first round.
Before you start getting all pissed off about the Skins handing out a $100 million contract, remember this: Haynesworth once stomped on the bare head of a Cowboy. Still, UGH!
DCHINO still knows the Skins are the bomb, but this same situation happens every offseason, next thing you know Albert Haynesworth is Albert Belle.
PENGUIN ESCAPES WOODLEY PARK ZOO
A 6'4" 250lbs penguin has been spotted running the up and down Wisconsin Avenue please call the authorities if he is spotted. Eye witness accounts have made out the Penguin roaming the line at Smith Point and looking up skirts on the steps at Townhall. Cops are setting up a trap in Gin and Tonic as we speak in hopes of luring the penguin in with Pez, Pop Rocks, a 1986 Optimus Prime figurine, and Pink "flavored" icy pops his mother usually buys for him at Costco.
Our prayers are with the DCPD and their families.
Free Pancakes!!!
The gang at DChino tend to only frequent IHOP on Saturday mornings around 4am-6am, but today might have to be an exception.
Today is International Pancake day! Go get a free short stack at IHOP today and you might actually see the DChino crew. This link will get you all the information you need to know in order to skeez as many free pancakes as possible
Animal Collective - My Girls
There has been wide acclaim for Animal Collective's new album, Merriweather Post Pavillion, by critics and fans alike. Named after the Maryland venue, Merriweather is definitely Animal Collective's most accessible work to date and is considered to be the best album of 2009 to date. Pitchfork has a very thorough review of the album in its entirety.
Dinosaurs Effin Robots!
The name of this site says it all!
Please click this link to get a feel for some of the amazing work
enjoy
G'town Hoya's Male Cheerleader = Chedder Dong
Readers of DChino-
A new reigning leader of the Chedder Dong's is among us in the form of a male cheerleader. Georgetown Hoya's male cheerleader Eric Cusimano.
The vigor and emotion he brings day in and day out to Georgetown men's basketball games it unnecessary and boarderline Patrick Bateman. Game by game you can notice Cusimano rocking out to Katy Perry on his ipod in the pregame warm up, doing a prayer at midcourt at half time, or even leaping to touch lower foam of the backboard on his way to the Darkon student cheering section.
DChino was fortunate enough to have had courtside tickets to a recent G'town Men's basketball game where we were able to grab a shot of Cusimano in action. If you are ever subjected to his annoying and disturbing actions please just focus on Georgetown Men's Basketball's coaching staff memeber M. Bahar. His grace about the game will quickly sooth over any thoughts of suicide Cusimano brings to you. If you want to subject yourself to more pain, SI did an article about this C Dong.
Our boy Dan Steinberg did a much better article (worth much more of your time) on M. Bahar.
CHINO's DAILY DUMP in DC
Chino's Daily Dump in DC is the collection of today's top stories through the eyes of Chino.
Here are the links-
Monday, February 23, 2009
Mr. Pho's(k)in Falls Church VA
At first i thought to be in for a real treat. their menu is extensive, including some of my faves you don't find in every pho spot, i.e. shrimp garden rolls and some good fried spring rolls. They were good but I had no idea what was in store for me.
We were introduced to Mr. "Pho" himself, a crazy old Vietnamese homie who had an incredible Fredrick, MD stash spread above his upper lip. He convinced us to get the beef Pho and the Vietnamese steak and eggs.
The pho came out with the steak and eggs. At first the flavor was okay but the noodles were way soggy and clumped up. It then occurred to me that it was not beef in my soup but foreskin. Im not joking I honestly believe I was eating cow foreskin.
I think with the down turn of the economy restaurants are now serving cheaper meat, and in the case of MR. PHO's it was foreskin replacing beef. Mr. Pho gave me $1 off for my dissatisfaction.
Dont go!
DARKON
Darkon-
Darkon is a full-contact medieval fantasy wargaming group, active in the Baltimore/Washington area since 1985. Every other Sunday, between 150 and 300 virgin, loser, Caps fans gather in costume and armor to fight unchoreographed mock battles with padded weaponry with fury and little to no skill or reason.
DChino will often comment on people who tend to have nerdy qualities, like those you frequently see in section 403 at the Washington Capital's games as "Darkons". Dan Steinberg give us an inside look into the Darkon's layer, the Verizon Center. His article you can find here is about the Penguins Capitals game from this past Sunday, he describes the Darkons in depth.
To gain a further understanding of what a Darkon actually is, we at DChino suggest watching the
Lindsay Czarniak
Today I was in the food court and I spotted pure gold, Lindsay Czarniak. Not only is she the hottest news reporter around, she is the hottest female news reporter around. Erin Andrews can take a hike, NBC 4 has the gold.
I was able to "snag" this picture of her as she was working on her laptop munching on some Ballston Commons fresh munchies.
The picture, although awkward, shows the intense beauty and power this broadcaster has, along with the creepiness this blog will uphold day in and day out. If you want to see more here is a picture of her interviewing a player on DChino's top 25 most annoying/amazing athletes.
Welcome
Welcome to DChino-
We are glad you have decided to take a journey though our nations capital with Chino as your tour guide.
The mission of this website is to give our readers the inside look at the buzz around everything that is DC.
Please enjoy the ride.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
