Darkon of the Day

Darkon Yale kid sues for $1 mil over lost Xbox

Dchino just found out that a Yale student is suing US Airways for losing his modded Xbox 360 for $1 million that he says was taken from his luggage.

Twenty-one-year-old Jesse Maiman alleges that during a flight from New Haven, Conn., to Cincinnati in December, his Xbox 360 with a specialized hard drive disappeared from his luggage. Maiman says he got what he called “an unconscionable run-around” from the airline. He’s asking $1,700 for the loss of the gaming system and for the maximum damages allowable, or $1 million.

Maiman filed the suit Monday in Hamilton County Common Pleas Court.
A US Airways spokeswoman said the airline was unaware of the suit but noted that the government limits liability for lost luggage to $3,300 per bag.

We at Dchino play Xbox a fair amount. But Dchino can honestly say that unless the Xbox had kiddie porn on it and we were worried about it leaking out, we probably wouldn’t valuate it at $1 million. I mean it’d be kind of a bummer to lose an Xbox and DChino is all for really sticking it to the airlines for all the horseshit they do to us like not giving us free dinners and making me sit next to fat people and smelly people and not automatically upgrading DChino to first class for being awesome and not having hot flight attendants and being a part of the 9/11 conspiracy and allowing people to joke about airplane peanuts and that time that security guard gave my chick a cavity search but then we found out he was just a guy wearing a t-shirt that said “Female Body Inspector”…yeah okay, go ahead and stick it to US Airways, sir. They’ve had it coming.
- Thank you Blog of Hilarity for this entire article

Dchino's Girl Lindsay Czarniak Bashing Penguins- Later finds out she talked with a Darkon

At the Caps Penguins game this past weekend, DChino hot sportswoman reporter Lindsay Czarniak went into Laconia (Verizon Center) to see if anything new was going on towards bashing the Penguins.

Instantly we got a phone call from her screaming.

Lindsay (frantically): "DCHINO!!!"

Dchino: "Yes Lindsay, what is it now?"

Lindsay: "I went into Lachonia and found Darkon Caps fans passing out passafiers degrading Sydney Crosby!"

Dchino: "Thats great Lindsay, nice work. Were you able to get a few pictures."

Lindsay: "You dont understand! A Darkon TOUCHED ME!"

Dchino: "NOOOO!!!! first go take all of your clothes off and sensually wash yourself all over with lathery soap and make sure to get your entire body moist and clean. Then go get a picture of those darkons so we can put it up on the blog... NOW HURRY"

Lindsay: ".....Ok"

The picture Lindsay took was of these Darkon Caps fans (please look with your own risk!)

DCFOD

Could our Darkon Caps Fan of the Day really be Shaq? Dchino recently attended the Laconia Kingdom Day of Mystical Magic, located at the Gaithersburg Fairgrounds off I270 across from the Popeyes and Jiffy Lube. Our cameras, which are strictly prohibited, found none other than Shaq being chums with some of the biggest Darkons in the area. Since this event happened in a prime Darkon Caps fan location, we have donned Shaq the DCFOD.

DISTURBING! - Darkon idiot knocks out kid with bowling ball

DARKON WINS $77,777 WITH A HALF COURT GRANNY SHOT; MOLESTS GORILLA

(Via With Leather)

Darkon Bar Crawl in Laconia (Baltimore)

Darkons will be hitting the streets of Baltimore approximately 1 month before Darkon season commences. -

"I AM SNUGGLES THE WIZARD, AND I, SNUGGLES THE WIZARD, COMMAND YOU TO READ THE FOLLOWING:

This Saturday, the folks at Captain Larry's, (601 E. Fort Ave.) are organizing a Snuggies Pub Crawl, which runs from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. and hits about a dozen South Baltimore bars." - Snuggles the Wizard

Beware of foam swords and dudes with goatees and bald heads.

Read more here

Count Andrick VanDahl Presents EFF My Life quotes

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living.

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.

FML

DARKON

Darkon-

Darkon is a full-contact medieval fantasy wargaming group, active in the Baltimore/Washington area since 1985. Every other Sunday, between 150 and 300 virgin, loser, Caps fans gather in costume and armor to fight unchoreographed mock battles with padded weaponry with fury and little to no skill or reason.

DChino will often comment on people who tend to have nerdy qualities, like those you frequently see in section 403 at the Washington Capital's games as "Darkons". Dan Steinberg give us an inside look into the Darkon's layer, the Verizon Center. His article you can find here is about the Penguins Capitals game from this past Sunday, he describes the Darkons in depth.

To gain a further understanding of what a Darkon actually is, we at DChino suggest watching the