Case Closed on the Search for the Potomac Penguin

As earlier reported on DChino.blogspot.com, a rabid Penguin had broken out of the Woodley Park Zoo and had been terrorizing young professionals on Wisconsin Ave between Calvert and K Street for approximately 3 years. The Penguin was apprehended in Potomac Maryland camped out in the basement of his parents home, where he had been for almost 4 months. The Penguin, at the time of his arrest, was eating cheese puffs and G-chatting online from the invisible mode.

The Penguin is facing 10 years in prison on 3 counts against him:
1) Lying about actually having a job
2) Racketeering- Had a fake website where politicians could poke each other
3) Loitering- Camping outside of many drinking establishments where he was suspected of praying on younger girls

Unfortunately DChino feels that this might not be the last we have heard of the penguin.

PENGUIN ESCAPES WOODLEY PARK ZOO

A 6'4" 250lbs penguin has been spotted running the up and down Wisconsin Avenue please call the authorities if he is spotted. Eye witness accounts have made out the Penguin roaming the line at Smith Point and looking up skirts on the steps at Townhall. Cops are setting up a trap in Gin and Tonic as we speak in hopes of luring the penguin in with Pez, Pop Rocks, a 1986 Optimus Prime figurine, and Pink "flavored" icy pops his mother usually buys for him at Costco.

Our prayers are with the DCPD and their families.