DCFOD + Eff My Life

Today DChino has incorporated their choice for Darkon Caps Fan of the Day and Eff My Life.

Pictured below is Lester Tomlin of Bel Air Maryland, he has been a Caps season ticket holder for 1 1/2 seasons and quotes his favorite Capitals as Mike Green, Brent Johnson, and Boyd Gordon. Attached is another picture of Lester (far right) as he prepares for battle as Baron Vladimir the Black, Knight Baronet (his Darkon name).




He enjoys Darkon for the friendships and his ability to exhaust the anger he builds up on a daily basis at his job at the Einstein Bagels shop in Timonium Maryland. Dchino has asked Lester for some quotes which can be seen here -

"Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com."

"Today, after working at Einsteins Bagels for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Lester.

"Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag."

Chino's DAILY DUMP in DC

- Zorn is weird.
- Megan Fox's top 5 TV roles
l - Dale DeGray will fight your whole team
- Sad news about the baseball player who was traded for 10 bats
-

DCHINO's NHL Power Rankings

1. Capitals
2. Sharks
3. Devils
4. Red Wings
5. Bruins
6. Flyers
7. Flames
8. Canadiens
9. Blackhawks
10. Rangers
11. Panthers
12. Blue Jackets
13. Sabres
14. Stars
15. Penguins
16. Wild
17. Hurricanes
18. Kings
19. Coyotes
20. Canucks
21. Ducks
22. Oilers
23. Blues
24. Predators
25. Maple Leafs
26. Avalanche
27. Thrashers
28. Islanders
29. Senators
30. Lightning

Obama Gets Heckled at Wiz Game by Idiot with Bluetooth In. Don't worry it wasn't on!

Dan Steinberg writes- When I saw all the photos of Obama at the Verizon Center getting into it with a fan wearing an Obama t-shirt, and then read the caption identifying the guy as "Washington Wizards fan Miles Rawls," I smiled. Then I thought, "Wait a second....Miles Rawls?"

That would be Miles Rawls, the commissioner of the Goodman League down in Barry Farms. The same guy who rocks the mic throughout those classic summer league games, saying, for example, "Man, they bumping like a [bad word]" when players make contact. The same guy who once pointed in the general direction of me, a Slate editor and a Comcast SportsNet employee and saying 'Man, we got white folks in the house. When you've got white folks in the house, you know you're special."

That must have made for some interesting Presidential banter, I figured.

"We were up by 15," Rawls remembered in a phone conversation this afternoon. "I told [Obama], 'You can tell them to warm up the limo, Sir, because this is a wrap here.' "

Read more of Dr. Dan here -

A MESSAGE FROM OUR FIRST SPONSOR, SHAMWOW

Shamwow Parody Dub - watch more funny videos

Slimmer Nationals Mascot Tells All.

This morning DChino was able to schedule an exclusive interview with the Nationals Mascot Screech. The 6'1" flamboyant bird instantly felt comfortable with a microphone in his face, so comfortable that he decided to reveal a few new facts.
DChino: How old are you Screech
Screech: 4
DChino: Thats great, do you like baseball
Screech: Yeah, its nice
DC: Nice? Aren't you supposed to live for the game? Don't you want the Nationals to do well?
S: I've just been really into other things lately, like the Bravo Channel, PinkBerry, and the elliptical machine at Results Gym on U street
DC: Well I have noticed you have lost some major weight has that been something you have been working hard at accomplishing?
S: I was born really fat in my hips, face, and, well, everywhere. Ever since 2006 when Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt took advantage of me in the RFK parking lot - calling me a "piggy" - I've known that It was time for a change.
DC: Thats horrible, did you talk with the Lerner family about this situation with the Presidents? Im sure they would punish them for doing this to you.
S: No, the way I see it, it was a blessing in disguise. If I hadnt been defiled by Ted and Abe I doubt I would be where I am today. Now Im in shape and I have met the love of my life.
DC: Good for you Screech and thanks for the interview with DChino.blogspot.com
S: The pleasure is all mine.


For more on this gay bird please read more from our boy Steinberg

Chino's DAILY DUMP in DC

- How a frat guys mind works
- Top ten college football pre-game rituals
- Legalize pot and tax the crap out of it
- Behind the scenes of Vanity Fair's comedy issue
- A full account of Obama's night at the Verizon Center
- 45 year old man loses 200 pounds in under a year; becomes oldest collegiate wrestler in the country
- Top ten sports cry babies (Sydney Crosby didn't make it?)

HEAVY METAL GRANDMA!

At a recent Danzig show that DChino was able to get vip passes to, we found this incredible specimen. Rita Goldbaum born in 1914 in Cherry Hill NJ currently resides in Shady Pond retirement home in Clearwater Florida. When interviewing Rita we found that she also loves to knit and read Good Housekeeping magazine, we also later found out that she enjoys Speed, PCP, Poppers, Meth, and sometimes Dr. Pepper.

FAREWELL SWEET PRINCE

Part-time Defensive End and Full-time Ballerina, Jason Taylor, was cut today by the Washington Redskins. Taylor tallied a staggering 3.5 sacks and 0 turnovers in one season with the Redskins while collecting $8 million (about $2.3 million per sack). In no surprise to anyone, the team was initially willing to bring Taylor back for another year at the same price; however, the team actually expected him to, you know, maybe try a little harder...which Taylor wasn't willing to do - "Taylor refused to agree to contract clause that would require him to participate in 25 of the 39 offseason workout days."

So what we have is a high profile, over the hill, unmotivated, veteran player putting up mediocre numbers while the franchise is out $8 million and two draft picks (2nd/6th rounders).

Sounds about right.

WILL FERRELL GETS INTO A BAT FIGHT

BAT FIGHT with Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell