Dchino's Girl Lindsay Czarniak Bashing Penguins- Later finds out she talked with a Darkon

At the Caps Penguins game this past weekend, DChino hot sportswoman reporter Lindsay Czarniak went into Laconia (Verizon Center) to see if anything new was going on towards bashing the Penguins.

Instantly we got a phone call from her screaming.

Lindsay (frantically): "DCHINO!!!"

Dchino: "Yes Lindsay, what is it now?"

Lindsay: "I went into Lachonia and found Darkon Caps fans passing out passafiers degrading Sydney Crosby!"

Dchino: "Thats great Lindsay, nice work. Were you able to get a few pictures."

Lindsay: "You dont understand! A Darkon TOUCHED ME!"

Dchino: "NOOOO!!!! first go take all of your clothes off and sensually wash yourself all over with lathery soap and make sure to get your entire body moist and clean. Then go get a picture of those darkons so we can put it up on the blog... NOW HURRY"

Lindsay: ".....Ok"

The picture Lindsay took was of these Darkon Caps fans (please look with your own risk!)

unbeWEAVEable!

Hair Weave Saves Ho's Life

"I was like DAAAAAYYYAAAMMM!"

Ovie Does Eastern Motors

A sports star in DC can sign a huge contract, win a championship, get all the fine ladies, but they haven't actually MADE it until they spot light themselves on an Eastern Motors Commerical! Congrats Alexander Ovechkin for joining an elite group of Washingtonian superstar athletes including; Sean Taylor, Lavar Arrington, Carlos Rodgers, John Witherspoon, etc.

Dchino's Daily Animal News

For today's Dchino animal of the day we have decided on the glamoured standard poodle.

This is a rare species where owners (usually cracked out single old ladies) dress up their dogs in whacked out fashion. We feel horrible for these dogs and probably even more upset for the owners. We are currently submitting a documentary on these owners to SnagFilms

For more examples on our animal of the day please visit this site!

Kim Jong Il Isn't As Ronery

North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il has officially joined E-Harmony. We wish him best of luck, that goofy bastard!



For more on Kim's romance please watch more here

Winner of pancake eating contest dies on stage when receiving his prize

Loyal DChino readers know that we love Pancakes, unfortunately this is a horror story about one of our beloved foods.

The pancake eating contest, which took place over the weekend in the town of Chernyakhovsk, the Kaliningrad enclave, ended with a tragedy. The winner of the contest died when he went up to the stage to pick up his prize, The Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper said.

Boris Isayev, 48, was the most active participant of the contest. He ate all of the pancakes that were offered to the contestants. The man collapsed when he was walking up the stairs of the stage. He fell down on his knees suffocating with foam on his mouth, eyewitnesses said.

People took life-saving efforts – artificial respiration and cardiac massage – but the man did not come to his senses. Paramedics continued reanimating the man, although to no avail. They could only say that the cause of the man’s death would be determined as a result of the post mortem examination.

COPS for Kids!

Dchino found this hilarious clip of the Cartoon version of Cops!


COPS for Kids! from Sunset Television on Vimeo.

Having trouble not putting things in your vagina?

Well, worry no more because there is currently an ebay auction of a book called A Treatise On Foreign Bodies In Surgical Practice which is perfect for anyone who's always getting things lodged up the ol' hoo-haa. Here's an excerpt:

This two-volume set remains in its original tooled cloth and in EXCELLENT condition. Vol. I has 271 pages, and Vol. II 320 pages. It is illustrated, and contains literally hundreds of interesting and unusual cases involving foreign bodies in all openings of the human body (rectum, vagina, urethra, ear canals, air passages, esophagus and stomach).

The books describe, for example, a case of a woman who had been experiencing vaginal bleeding for several months, but which failed to respond to conventional treatments. After direct observation, the patient was found to have a live leech in the vagina [after removal of the leech, the doctor recommended her to use an underwear or a cork stopper when going to the river for a bathe]. Leech died of starvation after removal.

taken from HolyTaco

Chino's DAILY DUMP in DC

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DChino's Music Pick of the Week

The Presets - If I Know You