Best Lacrosse E-Mail of All Time!

This just got in the hands of DChino. Probably one of the funniest Lacrosse related emails of all time. Prelude - Jessie Painter just graduated college and is looking to join a club lacrosse team in San Francisco California.

Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 3:37 PM
Subject: lacrosse team
Hey my name is Jesse Painter I have been trying to get onto a Mens Lax team for a while now that I recently graduated NDNU last Spring. You probably don’t want any young guns on your team but I am telling you I can probably out sprint any player on your team and can hit top cheese on the run everytime. This is probably not a good way to start off but I have talent and if it wasn’t for the recent collapse in the MLL SF dragons squad id probably be playing d mid hanging out with Doug Locker and Joe Romano. Anyhow, I know your season is about to start but I would like a chance to play with you guys. I have played you guys before at NDNU and you have some very talented players. As for my stature and skills Im 24 years old 6-3 205 and still in lacrosse shape. I am ambidextrous w/ 92mph lefty and a matching righty. I have great COD and Lax knowledge. I played Midfield frosh and sophomore year and then played attack at X for junior and senior year. I have played with the best as my roommates 2 of them are in the NLL and all I wish is that I can continue 2 play at a high level. I have played 1 game w/ Olympic club, but truthfully they stink and I don’t want to play with those ballhogs. I also recently played w/ USA west in the Japan Friendship games. Anyways, if you don’t want to add me to your team that is fine but I would like to play at least some games with your team. I am at a loss here in Cali where there are no leagues or teams and very limited skill. I have been coaching High School lately and have worked with Warrior for 4 years alongside Lorne Smith & Mike Watkins and have also worked numerous camps with Tim Booth and Eric Martin. To wrap it up, I know lacrosse players are cocky sons of bitches who don’t give a sh*t about anything but I would really appreciate a response back. Thanks and Good Luck This season
J


For his NDNU Bio please click here-