Julian Tavarez Puts On Beer Goggles, Signs With Nationals

We all get desperate sometimes. (Some more desperate than others.) But it's how you respond in those dark, angst ridden moments that defines you—and Julian Tavarez defines himself as not above slumming it. To bad for DChino the Nationals are the slum.

It's getting deep into spring training, but the 35-year-old pitcher was still unemployed as of Sunday. He had been offered a minor-league deal by the Washington Nationals back in November, but turned them down. However, when they came calling this weekend with the same terms he jumped on board. So why the change of heart?

"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavárez said on Sunday. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

Hey, no one is judging you, man. Every team is the same once the lights go out.

Thanks to Deadspin for this one!