P.O.’d Golfer Hilariously Assaults Child On Course

We laugh when Tiger gets pissed if someone takes a picture during his backswing, but would we want that happening to us? Golf was pretty much invented to stress you out, so there’s nothing worse than when your game is interrupted.

That’s what happened to Nathan Moore. He was on the 15th hole, probably 40 over par, but completely in the zone. So when a 12-year-old kid ran out onto the fairway and picked up his ball, Moore allegedly did what any rational human being would: he threw the kid in the bushes and beat him with his club.

The 37-year-old Moore was playing a round in Goodyear, Ariz., when the boy, who was “collecting golf balls” with his friends, stumbled across Moore’s lie. And let’s all be thankful that he did, because it set up the greatest physical comedy in the sports world since Pedro Martinez and Don Zimmer.

The boy, according to his mother, is “small for his age,” which make everything to come ten times funnier.

Police said Moore got into an argument with a child near the 15th hole, picked up the boy by the neck and crotch and threw him into a bush. He then hit the child in the calf with a golf club and went back to playing, police said.

He went right back to playing! That’s some badass, Bruce Willis calmly-walking-away-while-something-explodes-behind-him kind of thing!

And with that textbook neck-and-crotch grip, we’re obviously all picturing him throwing the kid 10 feet, like some kind of cross between a cartoon bouncer ejecting an unruly patron, and a dwarf toss.

Thanks to SportsByBrooks for this great work!